You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
