4 words: hood of his car
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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