They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
