Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
