best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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