I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
