:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
