The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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