So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
