i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
