it wasn't lemon gatorade
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
