Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
