a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize