when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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