I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
