i think my tv is drunk
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
