Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize