Don't you send me to vm
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
