Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
