I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
