Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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