I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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