oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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