All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
