I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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