physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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