Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize