his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
