I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize