After last night, I could never be a politician.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
