I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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