that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
