Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
