YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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