im holly from the hills drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
