you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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