We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
