i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He? As in you personified your dick?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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