Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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