Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
