So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my shit smells like andre
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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