I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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