how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
