Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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