just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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