She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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