dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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