DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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