Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
