his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
