in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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