my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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