no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
now i know why i became what i already was.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
