im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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