White coat. Heels.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
