Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
