just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
