"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
