I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
