I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
