New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
