my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
